..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
