I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
