I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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