I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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