i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
