hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A+ Viking dick
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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