he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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