I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
