Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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