he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
