I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
