So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I bet he comes in French.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
