Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize