i love accidental penises.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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