AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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