Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
