Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
