I just made out with a guy for $7.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
