I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
