piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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