a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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