Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
