just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
