I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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