Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
