She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
either way he was missing a nipple.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
