fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
