As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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