Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
