They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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