I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
