he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
