is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
