help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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