he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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