I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
