Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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