so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
