Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
