Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
