Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
