I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
