toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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