There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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