I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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