my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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