Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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