are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
