this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
