the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
