I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
