forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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