Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she smelled like a LAN party
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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