It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
