i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
